emotions.

it was quite the excellent weekend for me/us!  we celebrated the Little Dude's 7th birthday i still can't believe it! and had a great time with dear friends.  sunday we got a recharge at church and had fun being a family Dude built all the Lego stuff he got for his birthday!  the bestie came over in the late afternoon/evening to hang out, too!  a great way to spend a gorgeous day!

today i'm...emotional.  me emotional?  shocker!  haha!

i need to eat but just plain don't feel like it.  everyone says "eat! eat!"  well, YOU try to eat when nothing tastes right or sounds good!  my mouth is dry *all* the time.  i have a weird taste in my mouth.  i brush my teeth about 4 times a day to try to get it out.  it doesn't work.  the joy of a good, cold Coke has been taken from me.  cherry Dr Pepper is good, though.  a consolation prize!  it's just frustrating.  i LIKE food.  i mean, we plan trips around FOOD, people!  and now eating is like a chore.  water is the only thing that's still "right" and though you're supposed to drink a lot of water each day, there's just not much protein/nutritional value in it.

STOP telling me what i "should do" with my bald head!!  "well, i'd do blah, blah, blah!"  "why don't you just such and such?"  um, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'D DO.  trust me.  you want to do whatever?  shave your head and go for it and stop suggesting it to me.  thanks.  a little hostility there?  yeah, well, it's my blog and i'll type what i want. so there.

physically i just don't feel like...ME.  it's a strange feeling when i look in the mirror.  over the years you get a certain image in your head of what you look like and expect that when looking in the mirror.  i don't have that anymore.  every time i look in the mirror i sort of have to do a double take.  it's a big adjustment for my self image.  even if i am totally pulling this look off!  ;o)  but it'll happen.  i know it.

someone asks/texts/emails just about every day and asks how i'm feeling.  so here's the answer most of the time...  weird.  awkward.  emotional.  loved.  cared for.  protected.  hungry.  frustrated.  weak.  sleepy.  cold.  tough.  BLESSED.